Julie walked out on the cold, dark empty street. It was late at night and she could feel the chilly air on her bare arms. She was still dressed in her pyjamas, but she couldn’t care less. Her eyes were swollen red from crying and her cheek still held the imprint of her brother’s cold strong hand. After an hour of walking she found herself on an unfamiliar bridge. She stood on the edge and looked out to sea.

She couldn’t see much in the dark. The rain had stopped leaving a slight fog in its place. Thoughts of the past events kept rushing through her head. She suddenly remembered the image of Christ hanging above the bed, when she’d stole the money.
“I wonder what Christ thought of that situation” she thought aloud
“I bet he hates my guts now” she said as her tears returned “I’ve been a horrible Christian. I lied! I stole! I even murdered my own child!” she cried out as if talking to the water beneath her.

The winds picked up, her loose hair flying all around her face. She took a deep breath and pushed her hair behind her ears.
“I don’t deserve to live….” she whispered “My parents left me and my brother hates my guts! Even God has left me! That’s it I don’t want to continue hurting everyone and myself! I will end this entirely even if it means taking my own life!”

She clenched her fists and looked at the rough waves beneath her. With her eyes squeezed shut she cried out as loudly as she could “God! I’m soooo sorry but if you won’t end my life I will end it myself!” she braced herself for the impact of the fall and held her breath.

“STOP!” came the scream of a familiar voice “Don’t do it Julie! Please don’t”. Julie turned her head to where the voice was coming from. There, standing before her was her brother; his eyes glistening in the dark cold night. His eyes were pleading for her to come back. She turned her head back to the direction of the water.
“I’m sorry Levi, but I have to do this! You don’t want me to live and neither does God!” Julie exclaimed as she prepared herself for the end.

“What makes you say that? Julie I forgive you and I love you! And God…. well God is loving! God is caring! If he wanted you dead, don’t you think he would have killed you before? Don’t do it Julie! Even if you have sinned by lying and stealing and murdering, you are human! You aren’t perfect and you never will be. God will forgive you now and will continue to forgive you if you repent. His arms are spread out waiting just for you, to come and rest in them.” Levi said softly.

A long silence passed between them as Julie thought about what her brother just said.
“But how can he forgive me? I killed the child he gave me, myself!” Julie exclaimed, breaking the silence.
“Julie, God himself died on the cross just to forgive us all our sins, whether it is lies or murder. They are all the same in his eyes. If you just repent he’ll forgive you. If I forgave you; and I’m not exactly the most forgiving person, imagine what God will do! He’s your creator!”

Julie looked back at her brother tears streaming down her face. She looked up towards the sky her brown eyes sparkling with tears.
“God, please forgive me!” she cried “I know I haven’t exactly been the best Christian but I’m sorry! Please Lord! All I want is your love and compassion Lord! I need you to forgive me! I want to forget all of this and start again.” Suddenly she felt a small voice inside of her tell her she was forgiven. She looked back at her brother, a smile creeping onto her face. A strong feeling of peace and joy filled her whole body. She took a step back from the edge of the bridge and suddenly sprinted towards her older brother.

She wrapped her hands around him as tightly as ever.
“Wow! Take it easy Julie” Levi laughed. “I’m so happy you came to your senses”
“Levi, thank you so much! I… I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t come to me when you had” Julie said her eyes radiant with joy. She hadn’t felt this happy in years and the world which seemed like hell a couple of hours ago, seemed like paradise. She knew now that she had a loving brother who would always be there for her. And best of all; she knew that she was forgiven by God. She knew that even though she may sin, God would always be there with his arms stretched out waiting for her to repent!

Maria Sawiris