General Spirituality

Wounded

“If You happen to be wounded by succumbing to some sin through weakness, or through the faulty nature of your character, do not lose heart and fall into senseless turmoil. Humble yourself and, raising your eyes to the Lord, say and feel: ‘What else could be expected of me, O Lord, weak and faulty as I am.'” How incredibly freeing are these words; “weak and faulty as I am.”

What an incredible advancement you will have achieved if you can say this statement. For in these few words do you say everything that is best about being Christian. First, you state your own weakness clearly before God. You state it matter-of-factly, that you are NOT perfect. And as such, imperfection will always be expected of you.

Secondly, you are crying out to the Lord, affording Him the recognition that He will make things right. That He will help you overcome your current wounded situation. And lastly, you present your situation with humility – truthful humility. This is most pleasing to God.

It is a wonderful aroma God receives when a prayer stated with humility is made. And in response comes His grace and mercy – everytime.

Truthful humility is born from “the fact that you are weak and faulty, and you are accounted guilty for all your wrong things you have done, continue to do, and have not yet done.”

The truthful humility is the one who knows this statement to be true of himself. “They do not look around seeking on whom they can place the blame. They recognise their fault, face themselves and know that because of their sin they have offended God.” It is the one who counts it upon himself the cause of this present wound – in a meaning, if you are slighted by some one, if you are wronged by another person, or if you are insulted and hurt by another person – the truly humble person blames himself for the cause of this wound.

Examines his actions, his words, his deeds, and finds what led to this wound received. This act of self-incrimination is very pleasing to God. This is a man who lives each life with a firm desire to amend any aspect of his life that may cause another person to sin – let alone himself to sin. Does this seem hard for you? Consider this; we are all equal in God’s eyes.

From the lowly of lows to the highest of highs, God views us equally. From the cross-clinging Monk to the mud-slinging politician, all are equal before God. Place squarely in your mind, your most favorite person you know. A best-friend, a lover, a family member, your own child. Now, this person does something wrong that offends you. But because of your love for this person, you are not too offended, not even slightly scratched by this offense.

Why? Because your love for this person far out weighs this minor offense. This level of forgiveness should be applied to your most bitter enemy – then you have reached a level of woundless dispassion that rivals Christ. Remember, he was spit upon, scourged, beaten, mocked, laughed at, kicked, stabbed, tortured and abused; and for all of this received he returned with “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.” Can we be like this? Yes. Can it be expected of us from now on – not without practice. We first accept our blame, no matter how minor, no matter how slight, accept the blame, make amends, and deeply want to amend so as to prevent yourself from future wounds, but also to help prevent the offender from offending. “Guilt and forgiveness merge into one feeling.” God forgives us from the very instant we begin to ask Him for it.

For He knows us from our heart, not our words. The moment you feel guilty about something, then face it, let it out, then do what you can to make amends about the cause of it. Keep in mind, being wounded is not always from some outward offense, it may be an inward offense against ourselves. I often times get so focused on something, I can walk right by some one and not even say Hi. I then later feel guilty for having missed so-and-so and will go out of my way to call them to apologise. Seem silly to you?

Consider this; the person I ignored may have thought I meant to ignore them. This may fester inside them and create resentment within them. Then the next time I see them, they are cold to me and I am left to wonder why. What did I do? Truth is, I caused this. But by seeing it (or more appropiately, allowing God to open my eyes to this) I can prevent this minor offense from growing to a major one.

The most horrendous sins imaginable start with a minor offense. There is strength in being vulnerable. For in our weakness is His strength found. Do not lick your wounds. Stare at them, dispassionately, and examine the cause of them. Do not let the devil whisper in your ear “Oh so-and-so is out to get you. You are innocent of this offense.”

No. Say to yourself that you are not blameless in this result. Practice this and you will quickly see how you can avoid these future wounds. There is a difference between being stupid and doing stupid things. Putting your hand in the fire, and crying out in pain is a stupid thing. Repeating it thinking the result will be different is being stupid.

Being Christian is first realising that we are not Christ (therefore not perfect), but merely struggling to be Christ-like. We can’t be Christ, but we can be Christ-like, we can be Christian. Open your eyes to each and every action you take and do. Open your ears to the things you say. Examine them in relationship to what Christ would say, compare them to what Christ would do. Then, and only then, can you begin to compare how much of you is Christ-like and how much of what you do and say is not.

ST Nicodimus

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